Although social distancing has improved my personal interactions (avoiding people at only six feet instead of at all), it appears many of my natural inclinations are helping me do my bit to help stop the spread of coronavirus.

“Yet, thanks to a pandemic, it was Carol who found an app that will fill your grocery order and deliver it to your door. Yes, I am aware that a pandemic is a terrible thing, but still…”

Sitting on the couch all day is proving to be an effective way of avoiding getting or spreading the virus without cramping my style, though Carol has had to switch the cushions around more often than before to keep the one under me from permanently cratering. This has the added benefit of giving Carol something else to do to keep her busy, as she is not one to just sit around all day. Although I like to think she secretly admires my capability in this regard. (I conclude this from her saying, “how can you just sit there all day and not move?” I know she’s impressed. This is the way you stop a pandemic in its tracks!)

While on that couch, I’d used to fantasize how great it would be to not have to to go to the grocery store – just have everything delivered. In normal times, I knew I’d never be able to get something like that passed Carol, based on previous discussions. (“I’d never get you off that couch at all. When would I be able to refluff the cushion?”)

Yet, thanks to a pandemic, it was Carol who found an app that will fill your grocery order and deliver it to your door. Yes, I am aware that a pandemic is a terrible thing, but still…

The biggest shock to my system, of course, was The Day the Earth Stood Still: the sudden cancellation of Spring Training and March Madness both in the same lifetime. Now here was as genuine a crisis that one could imagine. It was the only time during the spread of the disease that I genuinely feared for my life. Even Carol was concerned, though I did catch her spying my couch cushion with what appeared to be a look of relief.

It’s been about two weeks or so, and I have to admit that the expected extended delays to the start of the baseball season has not wreaked havoc with my outlook on life. (I should note that New York’s announcement that liquor stores will be considered essential businesses and will remain open, has provided the rest of the country with a collective sigh of relief. And for me it means there will be life after sports.)

I realize there are parents of school-aged children who will regard me with daggers in their eyes for this, and I truly don’t wish this stay-at-home quarantine to last. But if it does, and the liquor stores stay open, I will get through this, even if the whole baseball season gets cancelled.

We may be in the market for a new couch should that happen, however.

(Note: all joking aside, regardless of how this pandemic turns out, we must realize that the world has changed in ways that assure us there will be more of these pandemics, and that the Big One is out there somewhere. Unless we can discover a universal vaccine for all viruses and their mutations…well, let’s just say human-induced climate change might cease to be a problem after all.)