Carol was explaining to her daughter a recent couch move in our living room. Pointing toward the end of the couch where I’m normally found and happened to be at that moment, she said, “This one sags.” Mind you, I was wearing a shirt which color matched that of the couch, a shirt that clings and therefore reveals my girth. So it might well have been that when Carol pointed toward that end of the couch and said, “This one sags,” her daughter would be correct in thinking her mother was commenting on me as much as the couch cushion upon which I sat.

    In this non- binary age of ” gender repronouning” (not bad, huh?) that we find ourselves, I am part of what I hope to be is a burgeoning new New Age subculture known as non-animate. We are refusing to be restricted to being one or the other of either animate or inanimate objects. In my specific case, it is immaterial to me when you point to me sitting on the couch and say, “This one sags,” whether you are referring to me or the cushion I’m sagging on. I’m comfortable with either objectification, and remain steadfast in my indeterminate state of animation. I believe it is high time that my sagging be accepted as a life choice, rather than an affliction I must be cured of. I will refuse any effort to “fix” me in my indeterminate animation through any form of interventions, such as joining a gym or blinking therapy.

    In this non- binary age of ” gender repronouning” (not bad, huh?) that we find ourselves, I am part of what I hope to be is a burgeoning new New Age subculture known as non-animate

   I think these efforts will go a long way in destigmatizing the current crop of unwoke terms of description, such as “couch potato” or “slug.” A potato is an essential part of a balanced diet, and a slug is an essential part of a healthy garden. These terms needn’t become disparaging ones just because this particular potato or slug is usually found squishing a couch cushion.

   Thus, “This one sags,” freed from its self-limiting meaning, becomes life affirming. Sagging transcends to the joyous experience of slouching that it has every right to be. There wouldn’t be much in the way of advocacy or activism that would be required to promote tolerance and acceptance either. As far as participatory sports are concerned, most of us who sag don’t go in for participatory sports in the first place. And in the area of public accommodations, it would be great if more bars and restaurants provided lounge type seating with squishy cushions, but I really don’t see much happening in the way of disruptive protests here, since that tends to involve a lot of marching and sign carrying, which runs counter to sagging. 

   Ours would be a quiet almost inanimate revolution. You’d never know we were ever there, except when it comes time to switch the cushions, or to get up to go to the bathroom, in which we’d ask for one small modification. All toilet seats will be cushioned.

   This is who I want to be. “This” is who I am.