The penultimate episode of the series This Is Us shows Rebecca lying comatose at the end of her life. Those of us who remember Carolyn at the end of her life will see the parallel of Rebecca’s loving family and friends surrounding her as she drew her last breath. We all did the same with Carolyn, though none of us imagined her observing us from a plush railway carriage in a stunning red dress as if on her way to Cinderella’s ball. It still helps to think that was the case, though. It would certainly explain my passion for train travel following her passing.

   Today marks five years since her passing. That’s more years than the ones we had together. We’d often speculate back then on how many years we would have  to be together, usually settling on a nice full number like 20 years or more. We might still get there, but in widowhood, not in marriage. No regrets though. The short time Carolyn and I had together taught me how to value every moment with Carol as precious and a gift.

Suffice it to say that as she peered into the maw of retirement, she probably sensed she needed someone in her life that she was fairly certain would help her feel like it was still work.

   Growing up I believed if a girl liked me there must have been something wrong with her. Mine was the romance version of the  Groucho Marx dictum of never belonging to a club that would have him as a member. I only pursued women who would reject me with extreme prejudice. Carolyn was one such victim. She was so pretty. Big blue eyes, long blonde hair… I’ve written that a Beach Boy song would play in my head every time I looked at her back in 1972 in Munich. I thought This will never fly, Orville when I made my big move on a dance floor one night. I tentatively pressed my hand lightly (plausible deniability) against the middle of her back (I didn’t say it was a good move, did I?) Well, Help me Rhonda if she didn’t press back!

   I lasted about three months before Carolyn realized how below her weight class she was punching and beat a hasty escape to the West Coast, where she lived a full, happy life mostly as a single woman. The story of our reuniting after 40 years is a saga in itself. Suffice it to say that as she peered into the maw of retirement, she probably sensed she needed someone in her life that she was fairly certain would help her feel like it was still work.

   I should have asked Carolyn what precisely she liked about me, so I could have stressed that quality with Carol and maybe helped flatten her learning curve with me. Perhaps enough of Carolyn’s sweet goodness rubbed off, but I don’t think that’s it. I just think Carol didn’t want to retire either.

Update: The Carolyn Kay Marquardt “Go See Stuff” Travel Award for 2022 has been awarded to two University of Puget Sound students:

Khysa Gustafson ’24, Poway, California, International Political Economy major and economics minor. Khysa will be traveling to Munich next academic year.

Maya Kirsten Horten ’22, Portland, Oregon, International Political Economy and German studies double major and global development studies minor. Maya will be traveling to Berlin this summer.

 A most worthy pair of over-achievers if you ask me. Carolyn would be proud.