I read recently that the self-styled militia Proud Bois, who espouse an extreme form of individual liberty, requires a non-negotiable commitment to “fit in or fuck off” in order to join its “organization.” The Proud Bois apparently doesn’t require any corresponding commitment to irony. Also, a group calling itself Moms For Liberty has created […]

   Nothing will take you back to the nineteenth century faster than a refrigerator on the fritz. (One might argue it’s today’s Republican Party, but that would be the sixteenth.)    One night a week ago, I opened the freezer for our ice cream night. (non-wine nights are generally ice cream nights.) The Gelato was […]

   I once played golf with a fellow golf writer (there’s a hint right there that this story is not about integrity) who had made no secret of his single-digit handicap.    As our round began, I could see nothing off the tee or from the fairway that would suggest the skill of an accomplished […]

   The bloodied and mud bedraggled soldier burst into President Abraham Lincoln’s office and blurted, “The Confederacy has just engaged in legitimate political discourse on Ft. Sumpter, sir!”     Annoyed by having his concentration disturbed, Lincoln cried out, “My God, man, I just had this wonderful synonym for the number 80 right on the tip […]

   Professor Emmett Lazer, who led the Stanford University Dept. Of Physics to a number of Nobel Prize nominations, has been fired, according to Academics Director Lance Andrew “Slim” Pickens. “We feel it was time to move in another vector,” Pickens told ESPN in an interview earlier today.    The firing literally sent shock waves […]

   President James Madison sat at his writing desk, pen in hand, when a sentry burst in. “Mr. President, the White House is on fire!”   Madison bolted upright, nearly knocking himself out of his booster seat.   “The what?” Madison replied, on the floor on his knees and looking around for his pen.    […]

   Living through your 70s is mostly a time of experiencing new diminishments of one’s physical and mental capabilities. It can take as long to get out of a chair as it does to remember what you had for dinner the previous night, for instance. Your gait begins to resemble Tin Man’s in the rain. […]

   If you drew a half-circle on a map that captured the forest fires we drove out of a week ago and the oil spill that occurred earlier this week off the Orange County coast, our house would now be half-circumscribed by two man-made disasters. “One if by land, two if by sea,” would be […]

   Our planned labor day getaway destination is currently on fire. My hometown of New Orleans is sweltering with no electricity as a result of Hurricane Ida. And the state of Texas has voted to join the Republic of Gilead. The times have the feel of being on the Titanic as the band strikes up […]

   One of my Friday night enjoyments is to stay up after Carol has gone to bed, crank up the volume on my headphones, pour a glass, turn off the lights in the living room and blast off with my classic rock Amazon playlist. And no, I am not drinking alone in the dark. The […]