ACT I

SCENE 1

Interior day. Living room. Kitchen is visible at stage left. An elderly man HARRY is standing and an elderly woman MIDGE is seated.

                HARRY

    Now where did I put my keys ?

                MIDGE

    Why do you need your keys?

                HARRY

    Please, Midge, one crisis at a time.

                MIDGE

    Well, why are you standing in the middle of the room?

                HARRY

    That one I know…I think. Ah,yes,I’m standing in the middle of the room, because I was going to the…bedroom.

                MIDGE

    To look for you keys?

                HARRY

    No. I thought I had my keys with me.

                MIDGE

    Then why were you going to the bedroom?

                HARRY

    To get my hat.

                MIDGE

    Your hat is hanging up in the hallway.

                HARRY

    Then why was I going to the bedroom?

                MIDGE

    To get your sweater?

                HARRY

    No. I don’t need a sweater. It’s warm out.

                MIDGE

    For your wallet?

                HARRY

        (Patting his back pocket)

    Have it.

                MIDGE

    Glasses?

                HARRY

        (Pats shirt pocket)

    Got em.

                MIDGE

    Then I don’t know why you were heading for the bedroom.

                HARRY

    Bedroom. Why would I be heading for the bedroom. I have to go to the bathroom.

                MIDGE

    Again? You just went.

                HARRY

    When?

                MIDGE

    Two minutes ago.

                HARRY

    Well, I have to go again.

Harry exits stage right. Off stage we here him cry out

                HARRY

        (O.S)

    Found them!

                MIDGE

    Found what?

Harry returns to living room, jangling his keys

                HARRY

    My keys.

                MIDGE

    Great. But you never said why you needed your keys in the first place.

                HARRY

        (Pauses, thinks)

    I have an appointment with my urologist.

                MIDGE

    That’s on Friday, dear.

                HARRY

    Then, what do I have today?

                MIDGE

    No idea, dear.

                HARRY

        (Consults calendar in kitchen)

    Oh. Today is my memory test with Dr. Kessler

                MIDGE

    Don’t bother. I already know how it turns out.

END SCENE