Photo credit: Carol Madigan    As Carol had already confirmed there was nothing in particular she wanted to see here, I’d hoped Madrid would offer a respite from the Sturm und Drang of sightseeing. We were headed for Toledo today, but that was going to be a Hop On Hop Off bus ride, which is a […]

   The penultimate episode of the series This Is Us shows Rebecca lying comatose at the end of her life. Those of us who remember Carolyn at the end of her life will see the parallel of Rebecca’s loving family and friends surrounding her as she drew her last breath. We all did the same […]

   Carol noted one evening recently how around this time we tend to share stories of our departed spouses more frequently than other times of the year. April is the month that Mike died in an automobile accident, and also the month Carolyn was admitted to the hospital for treatment of leukemia from which she […]

While Carol has proven to me that companion travel is superior to solo, nothing has changed about my attitude to group tours. I have the one direct experience to look to for proof. When the door to Cuba had opened up back in 2016, Carolyn and I had booked a Roads Scholar tour of that […]

Most anniversaries celebrate longevity and joy. Then there are the anniversaries that widows know. Where do you find something to celebrate or be joyful about there?

In 2017, Mike Madigan’s life ended abruptly on April 19 in a car accident. The end of Carolyn Marquardt’s life began on April 17th, with hospital treatment for a leukemia she was not to survive. For Carol and me, April has been the cruelest month for the past three years.

Over the past two years or so, Carolyn has appeared several times in my dreams. In all cases, we were separated from each other, she living in a different city from me. I believe in all these dreams, the plan was to meet up again, but something kept popping up to keep us apart. Separation being analogous to death, at least in this dreamscape, I took these dreams as visitations. Then I experienced a true visitation.

Mourning becomes memory, part 2

Carolyn Kay Marquardt

August 10, 1949 – May 23, 2017

   If you asked those who knew Carolyn, they would tell you what they remembered most was her laugh. I remember it as a great full body dry heave of joy. They would also mention her hugs. “Huge sister hugs,” Marianne describes them.

   That Carolyn exuded joy was something well remembered by her nephew Sean.  “She was almost always smiles from cheek to cheek; this happiness tended to resonate with everyone around her, and aside from being a very fun and outgoing auntie, this was probably another of many reasons I always looked forward to her company.”

   I forget the specific circumstances, but Carolyn once emphatically chastised me for not having any interests. I actually don’t in the conventional sense of DIY,  woodworking, fixing up cars, feeding the poor or anything to do with yard work.